This morning I was listening to the great Nat “King” Cole and his version of “(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons” [parentheses in the original — who the hell puts parentheses in a song title?!] came on.
Great song but terrible thing to say to your beloved:
"My special, precious darling. I love you. Want to know why?"
"Eh, for sentimental reasons."
"I don’t know, I just remember loving you before, back when we lived on that place by 3rd Street. So I continue to love you ‘cause it reminds of that. Remember that bagel place across the street? And how our downstairs neighbor threw a jar of pennies through the windshield of that other guy’s car? Ha ha ha! That was great. Anyway, so that’s why I love you."
"I-is there any other reason?"
"That I love you? Hmmm. Not that I can think of."
"So nothing about me? That you love me for?”
"I don’t really understand the question. I think I’ve been pretty clear that I love you for sentimental reasons. And ONLY that. If anything changes I’ll let you know.”
"Oh, god, this is horrible!? [breaks down weeping]
"You’re crying? I don’t think you understand. I love you because I have feelings of nostalgia about when I used to love you! Here, let me sing you an entire song about it. Wait - where are you going?!”